Homemade Mayonnaise

Makes about 1 cup

1 egg yolk
1/2 teaspoon water
pinch of salt
1 cup olive oil
lemon juice or vinegar

Mix the yolk and the water together in a mixing bowl. Slowly dribble the oil into the egg yolk mixture, whisking constantly. As the egg yolk absorbs the oil, the sauce will thicken, lighten in color, and become opaque. This will happen rather quickly. Then you add the oil a little faster, whisking all the while.
If the sauce is thicker than you like, thin it with a few drops of water. Finish with a bit of lemon juice or vinegar.

Recipe by Alice Waters, page 45 of The Art of Simple Food by Alice Waters

So that was the plan for my delicious ham sandwich. Make my own mayonnaise and finish it with a bit of Coleman's mustard for some extra zip. However my experience was not nearly as simple as this recipe seems. I separated out my yolk and left it to come up to room temperature. I know that bringing it to room temp isn't listed in the instructions, but as a baker I have found that it is usually better that way. So I gave it a few minutes then got out my whisk and went to work. I dribbled in maybe 1/8th of the oil and started whisking. When it looked fully incorporated I added more of the oil and continued whisking. At this point I've been whisking for ten minutes or so and my horribly abused right hand is starting to complain, but my mixture isn't getting any thicker. I stop for a moment and laying in the bottom of the bowl is a runny, oily, yellow mess. So then I start to think that maybe I'm not whisking hard enough. Maybe my hands aren't up to the task. Well, when in doubt go with an electrical helper. Out comes the hand mixer with the whisk attachment.
Whirrrrrr........ runny mess. Whirrrrrr........ runny mess. Maybe I don't have enough of the oil in. Add another 1/4 cup and whirrr........ runny mess. Another 1/4 cup and whirrr............ runny mess. I've been at this for like half an hour and there's absolutely nothing that resembles "thickening" going on. Crap. Something tells me this should really look more like mayo by now.
I'm not sure what the problem was with my mayo, but at thirty minutes I gave up. Maybe it was the room temperature egg, maybe the egg wasn't fresh enough, maybe mayo is like meringue and sometimes it just fails. I have no clue, but I'll try it again another day.
So instead I got out a cup of Best Foods and mixed in a teaspoon of Coleman's mustard and spread it on my baguette. I added fresh lettuce, about 1/4 pound of Niman Ranch ham and topped it off with some delicious havarti with wild garlic. It was scrumptious!